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Post by jestress on Nov 25, 2015 2:01:12 GMT
I thought that I would start this thread because we were talking on JWWM about ways we would like to rewrite Pharoah's Engineer.
Raffie and I would both like to see Philip and Jamie involved in the episode. It would make much more sense, considering the riddle of the Sphinx Lee and Billy talk about, which includes three phases of life: infancy, adulthood, and old age. The episode contrasts the current agents with the retired agents, and adding Philip and Jamie would bring the third phase of life, childhood, into it. It would also allow for more humor in the episode with Lee hiding from the kids while visiting Birchwood and Rupert offering Philip valuable advice on pyramid construction for a history project of his.
Some of us were also saying that we'd like to rewrite the birthday party scene at the end. I said that I'd like it better if Lois and Glynis had mentioned earlier that Rupert's birthday was coming up, maybe mentioning it as the reason they wanted to see Lee at Birchwood in the first place, to recruit him to help arrange a birthday surprise for Rupert. Some of the others said that it would be better if Rupert had a birthday dinner at Amanda's with Lois, Glynis, and Amanda's family so that he could see Philip's pyramid project when it's finished and with Lee checking on them from the kitchen window.
Are there any other episodes that people would like to see go a little differently?
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Post by KC on Nov 25, 2015 14:18:15 GMT
Do you really have to ask? A Class Act!
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Post by Janeth on Nov 25, 2015 16:00:12 GMT
I did a whole fanfic that rewrote part of Vigilante Mothers, but for whole episodes, definitely A Class Act.
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Post by Jenbo on Nov 25, 2015 21:36:09 GMT
The Artful Dodger.....because no respectable woman would accept such a fugly ring!!!
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Post by jestress on Nov 26, 2015 2:48:31 GMT
The Artful Dodger.....because no respectable woman would accept such a fugly ring!!! I know I wouldn't!
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Post by jestress on Nov 26, 2015 3:04:02 GMT
Do you really have to ask? A Class Act! That's true. I especially don't like how poorly Amanda did on the memory test. In other episodes, she does that little memory trick of associating things with words that start with the same letter. She could have done the same thing in the Class Act memory test. I think part of the reason they had her do so poorly was to show how much better the author did because he had a photographic memory, but I think it would have been even better if Amanda had given a complete but non-specific list and the author was still able to give more detail, like the exact denominations of the coins in the picture and exactly what was written on the airline ticket. The part where Amanda had trouble with the athletic tests didn't make sense either because Amanda did well on that sort of thing before and because she goes on camping and scouting activities where she must be used to hiking and similar activities. She should have been able to manage at least some of it much better (except maybe the shooting part). The bad guys thought that she was pretending to be bad at things on purpose so that no one would suspect her of being the ringer, but if she turned out to be much better at certain tests than they would expect a housewife to be, it could still look suspicious to the bad guys. Whoever wrote the episode definitely didn't think it out enough.
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Post by learjet on Dec 6, 2015 6:23:01 GMT
"Playing For Keeps" - yes, we couldn't have more Amanda dt KJ's father's death but Francine was not quite Francine dt the quick-and-dirty rewrite. I'd like to have seen more character development of Francine, maybe learnt more of her backstory and her history with the agency.
And then there is season 4. Basically all of the last few episodes except "One Flew East" needed some more work!
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Post by iwsod on Dec 23, 2015 5:09:38 GMT
I thought that I would start this thread because we were talking on JWWM about ways we would like to rewrite Pharoah's Engineer. Raffie and I would both like to see Philip and Jamie involved in the episode. It would make much more sense, considering the riddle of the Sphinx Lee and Billy talk about, which includes three phases of life: infancy, adulthood, and old age. The episode contrasts the current agents with the retired agents, and adding Philip and Jamie would bring the third phase of life, childhood, into it. It would also allow for more humor in the episode with Lee hiding from the kids while visiting Birchwood and Rupert offering Philip valuable advice on pyramid construction for a history project of his. Some of us were also saying that we'd like to rewrite the birthday party scene at the end. I said that I'd like it better if Lois and Glynis had mentioned earlier that Rupert's birthday was coming up, maybe mentioning it as the reason they wanted to see Lee at Birchwood in the first place, to recruit him to help arrange a birthday surprise for Rupert. Some of the others said that it would be better if Rupert had a birthday dinner at Amanda's with Lois, Glynis, and Amanda's family so that he could see Philip's pyramid project when it's finished and with Lee checking on them from the kitchen window. Are there any other episodes that people would like to see go a little differently? Hiya Jestress.. forgive me for not being in touch with you much - it has been crazy busy.. I just wanted to say that I loved this idea of yours! I loved your and raffie's ideas about including Phillip and Jamie, and Dotty in the plot of TPE!! Oh heck yes please re-write that stupid tag- such condescending nonsense.. oh Rupert gets a birthday party how cute.. why not invite Pretzel the clown to come and entertain them?! Which episode would I like to see go a little differently? A few immediately come to mind: Artful Dodger - I loathe this one.. for me it felt like zero character development for a whole lot of uncomfortableness.. [At least the uncomfortableness in Lost and Found was totally worth it because of the character development] A Class Act - Amanda has a temporary lobotomy this ep.. such bad timing with her being off at training and all and.. J.Edgar's Ghost - I wanted to hear from Agnes again, she was left so broken by the episode's events.. I felt her saying no to nicky in the car wasn't enough.. and I wanted to see that she had put her life back together again.. hope I'm making sense here.. lol quite possibly not!
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Post by iwsod on Dec 23, 2015 5:11:37 GMT
I did a whole fanfic that rewrote part of Vigilante Mothers, but for whole episodes, definitely A Class Act. You write fan fic Janet? I'm not a reader of fan fic.. I'm saving it all up for when the walk is done! But I look forward to reading your stories in future! I'm in awe of people who write fan fic - I don't know how you do it!!!
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Post by iwsod on Dec 23, 2015 5:15:46 GMT
"Playing For Keeps" - yes, we couldn't have more Amanda dt KJ's father's death but Francine was not quite Francine dt the quick-and-dirty rewrite. I'd like to have seen more character development of Francine, maybe learnt more of her backstory and her history with the agency. And then there is season 4. Basically all of the last few episodes except "One Flew East" needed some more work! Agreed Learjet! Playing for keeps could have been so much better - and the issues with that ep are not just about it being Amanda-lite. Francine was downright scary a times and not true to her character.. and there were some embarrassingly obvious gaffes - I mean quarter finals? semi finals? finals? quarter finals? semi finals? gah!!! I don't mind the episode being Amanda lite as a one off it's an interesting opportunity to tell the story differently, and see a new aspect of Lee and Amanda's story.. Your right Learjet what did we learn about Francine in Playing for Keeps? not much.. she worked with Lee in Budapest? Umm.. she is au courant with tennis?!
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Post by jestress on Dec 23, 2015 5:52:59 GMT
I just thought of another: Remembrance of Things Past. My chief complaint is that the story is set up like a murder mystery, but they didn't play fair with the audience by letting us see the villain at the Agency so that we'd have a chance to figure out that it was him. If we could have seen him in the background, among the cleaning crew, it would have more fair.
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Post by Janeth on Dec 24, 2015 0:50:28 GMT
I did a whole fanfic that rewrote part of Vigilante Mothers, but for whole episodes, definitely A Class Act. You write fan fic Janet? I'm not a reader of fan fic.. I'm saving it all up for when the walk is done! But I look forward to reading your stories in future! I'm in awe of people who write fan fic - I don't know how you do it!!! No one was more surprised then me to find I could write fan fic, trust me but once I started it's become compulsive. And when you're done the walk in three years or so, there's a whole internet of it out there for you - lol! And more than few of us here I suspect who will point you to the good ones.
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Post by valerie on Dec 31, 2015 21:31:49 GMT
I like this thread. I'm going to have to think about this some more. Most of the ones I would have liked to be rewritten have already been mentioned and for pretty much the same reason. It would have been great to see some more character development of not only Francine, but Billy as well. We got introduced to some quirky characters here and there, but only Leatherneck and TP seemed to really stick.
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sara
Junior Member
Posts: 49
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Post by sara on Mar 16, 2016 12:00:55 GMT
I'll second Playing for Keeps. The final capture and even the choice of bad guys. Also wanted Lee to show up at Amanda's back door for the tag.
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Post by jestress on May 6, 2016 2:10:43 GMT
We were talking about Wrong Number on JWWM, and most of us were confused/unimpressed by Lee's sudden change of position on Towne's innocence, just based on Amanda's clue about the MSG in the Chinese food, when she had presented other, more convincing evidence before. We also questioned just how the Russians could so completely wipe out anyone's past records from school, employment, etc. and how it convince everyone when there would still be old friends/teachers/employers to remember the person. Janet Hill pointed out that the original script for the episode had Lee and Amanda visiting one of Towne's old schools to check his records and encountering a teacher who remembered him, which helps him to be convinced by other evidence later. I haven't read the original script, so I don't know exactly how it goes, but I'd like to talk about other possibilities for how Lee becomes convinced of Towne's innocence and Amanda's thoroughness as an investigator. Some ideas I had: First, I'd have Amanda mention the MSG first and have Lee dismiss it as another little detail that he thinks Amanda's making too much of in the face of what he thinks is greater evidence. Then, they go to visit the school to check Towne's old records. If we have Lee and Amanda visiting Towne's old elementary school together, Lee might concentrate more on the apparent break-in to the school's offices and the lack of Towne's files in the office. While he's puzzling over whether the apparent break-in might have been to steal Towne's files or whether it's just coincidence or even if there was a break-in at all (Was there really obvious evidence that there was or were there just more subtle signs that the school principal noticed but that might not convince others?), Amanda is approached by an older woman who heard them mention William Towne. It turns out that the older woman was one of Towne's old teachers (like in the script), and she remembers him because he was a brilliant student even at a very young age and won a lot of math contests. Amanda tries to get Lee's attention to talk to this teacher, but he's still wrapped up in debating with the principal about the possible break-in. He tells Amanda that it's unlikely that any teacher who had Towne in her class more than 20 years ago would remember him because teachers teach so many students every year and it's just been too long. Amanda accuses him of not listening to her. Lee says he's trying to focus on what's important. Amanda says, "So am I!" and stalks off. Lee returns to talking to the principal and doesn't notice that Amanda has returned to talking to the teacher. Amanda asks the teacher if there's anything else she remembers about Towne, like any old pictures she might have or if she remembers if Towne has old friends who might remember him. The teacher says that Towne was a shy boy at that age and that his best friend was a girl. She says that she heard that he and the girl stayed friends all through high school and that he married her later, and she thinks that's romantic. Amanda races off to talk to Towne's wife again. Lee doesn't notice right away that she's gone. When he does, he talks to the teacher, asks her where Amanda is. The teacher tells him that she left. Lee starts to leave, but before he does, he asks her if she really remembers teaching Towne. She says she does. He asks her how she can be sure after so many years, and she says that some people just stick in your mind because of the kind of people they are. He asks her what she means. She says that sometimes it's the little things that are important and when you've seen the shyest boy in class punch the class bully for calling his little girlfriend names and then helping the same bully with his math homework the next day, you remember. Lee starts believing her a little. Amanda talks to Towne's wife, and she shows him memorabilia that she's saved from their school years, including a high school yearbook with their pictures in it. Sticking out of the yearbook is a letter about their high school reunion this year with both of their names on the envelope. The letter was mailed months ago, and the reunion is next weekend. Towne's wife said that they were originally thinking of going but with all the Agency business, they'd pretty much forgotten about it. Amanda thinks that this and the yearbook would be enough to convince Lee or at least get him to look into his high school years more. They are about to leave to see Lee when Popovich (looking like Towne) shows up. He's there to make sure that Towne's wife doesn't interfere with their plans. He was planning to kidnap her and make sure it seem like she'd skipped town or something. At first, they think Popovich is Towne, but his wife spots something about him that gives him away. He captures them both, but ends up accidentally leaving some small clue to where he's hiding them -- like a matchbook from a hotel. Lee thinks that Amanda has gone on to Towne's old high school to find more evidence, so he heads over there to meet her. She isn't there, and the school can't find Towne's record. But, the school secretary says that Lee isn't the first person to ask about Towne's file. She's sure that it's only been misfiled somewhere, but if Lee is with the reunion and looking for pictures, he should talk to the man coordinating the reunion because she thinks he found some. She points out a man hanging up pictures of former students on the wall for the reunion. Lee goes over to talk to the man and spots pictures of Towne among the others, labeled with his name. The photo collection features current pictures alongside pictures of the people from their student days. Lee asks the man about Towne and where he got the pictures. The man turns out to be the former president of the student council when Towne was a student, and he remembers Towne from when they were students because Towne served as student council treasurer. Lee asks him where he got the pictures, and he said that since the school seems to have lost Towne's old file, he just used one from his own photo album that he took himself at a student council meeting and the one that his wife sent in when they RSVP'd for the reunion. He adds that it's nice that they're still together after all these years. Lee asks him what he means, and the man says that if he knows Towne, he probably also knows his wife. They started dating back in high school, and he once caught them making out in the student council room before a meeting (something he'll never forget ). Lee races off to see Towne's wife. When he gets there, there's no answer at the door, but Amanda's car is still parked outside. Lee gets worried and breaks in. He finds the old yearbook and reunion invitation. Then, he spots the matchbook and remembers that Towne doesn't smoke and doesn't carry matches (if this wasn't established earlier, it should be so that Lee can demonstrate that he did observe something about Towne and remember it -- maybe that piano player asked him for a match and Towne said that he didn't have one because he doesn't smoke). Lee knows that something bad has happened to Towne's wife and Amanda and goes off to the hotel to rescue them. When he does, he captures Popovich and from there, I think the episode can continue almost the way it does originally so they can save Francine. I think I'd also add something about Lee telling Amanda that she was right and that he sees her point now about the importance of little personal details. It would be a good time for him to compliment Amanda on her work and to tell her some of the little things he appreciates about her -- her attention to detail, her determination to stand up for what's right and help a friend, etc. Then, maybe for fun (and because episodes often end with a joke), he could mention her skill with plants and as a token of his esteem, he could give her the cactus he sat on earlier on the condition that she take it home and never leave it on his chair again. I didn't mean to write almost a whole fanfic here, but what do you think?
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